In case you haven't gathered from my posts so far my family is REALLY close. My relationship with my sister Janet was no exception. Janet and I were 13 years apart so when I was young she was more like a 2nd mom to me. I actually ended up living with her for a few years and she treated me like I was her own. As an adult, we became best friends our families would get together every weekend. I can not count the amount of hours that we spent hanging out in Janet's living room watching endless hours of Lifetime. "Come over Sophia it's Murder Saturday!" Yeah, I know it's probably not normal but that is the way we bonded. We would sit and laugh, and talk about everything- she was the best friend I could ask for.
September 12th my sister unexpectedly passed away. Why God chose that day- I wont know until we meet again, and then as I told my mom, I will probably be so happy I will forget to ask. A few things I do know for sure are; I know that she loved God and I know she is in heaven. I know the angels rejoiced that day and I know she is happier than she could ever be here.
As today approached I knew I would have to be the "strong" one. I have been making sure my mom is ok emotionally and that is no easy job. Also, I have Cecelia and I knew today would be especially hard on her. Some of my family had planned to go to the cemetery today, I am not the kind of person that finds comfort going to the cemetery. If you are then this is in no disrespect to you, it is simply easier for me this way. Anyways, my task for today was simply to keep my mom as happy as I could.
I woke up as normal got dressed. Somewhere during this point it crossed my mind that this day had arrived but I was ok, I might get through this. I walked down stairs and popped in my mom's favorite cd. I actually can't stand this cd but it always lifts her mood so I thought it would be good for her. As I went in to her room she said a few words and then burst into tears. Now, I am pretty strong but my mom crying can break my heart in a second. I held her as she regained composure and I asked if she would be ok. It is my Sunday to do worship so I had to leave for a little while. She said she would be fine but as I left I felt it- a huge knot that remained in my throat most of the day. I got to church and I was okay that is until it was time to pray. There is something about prayer, something about casting all of your cares on Him. I LOST it. I pulled my self together enough to worship, I actually felt bad that I had fell apart that way but I think I knew it was the only place I could. I came home got the kids dressed, and realized my family was all doing emotionally better than I was (so much for being the strong one) After church (2nd service) my mom broke down so my sister Eileen and I decided to take her shopping. This may not make sense to you but we are a family of "therapeutic" shoppers. All in all, it went pretty well with my mom only having one major break down. So that pretty much concluded my day. My mom went to sleep really early, I'm pretty sure she was emotionally exhausted. But the most important thing was that we survived today.
As I miss my sister today I can't stop thinking WOW, what better way to celebrate than with your maker? I imagine the angels dancing all around. I am sure it is a BEAUTIFUL sight. One day we will get to celebrate it together again for now I'll remember the wonderful memories we share. I love you big sister, I am sure your birthday was WONDERFUL! :)
Love you Sophia
ReplyDeleteLove you too Jessica! :)
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